If your 9-month-old is like mine and currently in the grips of a notorious sleep regression, hang in there! Like everything in baby-world, it is only a stage. We only need to ride the wave! In this article I dive into how I try to do so and maintain a scrap of sanity.
Sleep Regression is a thing: Hallelujah!
But first things first, isn’t it a relief to know that your baby’s lack of sleep is just a “regression”? That is a lovely word. One, to know that it’s actually a thing. Not just “my baby is a bad sleeper”. And two, that there is a limit on the regression. It’s a “9 month” thing.
It has an end.
My 9mo does everything with charming intensity. When he feeds, he feeds as though it is his last meal on a dessert island. When he cries, he cries with great outrage and energy. And, when he sleeps, he sleeps deeply and soundly.
And when he has a sleep regression, you can bet he has one with full force!
Mr 9mo has just dropped his third daytime nap (cue: weeping and wailing). And you can betcha bottom dollar I Googled this to see if it was normal.
It is.
How much sleep should a 9-month-old be getting?
According to CHOC, 9-month-olds’ should be sleeping between 12-16 hours a day. This could look like 10-12 hours a night, with daytime naps of 2-3 hours (usually split between 2 naps).
My 9mo has two naps a day these days, usually for a total of 2 hours. Over the last week, his night time sleeping has regressed, as he has been waking at about 8pm (after 1 hrs sleep) and doesn’t go to sleep again till about 10pm.
He then has an 8 hr stretch till 6am, but is waking about 3 or 4 or 5 times to feed.
Of course, I would LOVE for him to be sleeping through the night.
But, CHOC also says that a sleep regression is ‘normal’ for a 9mo, so I’m not stressing too much about it (but I’ll go into that later!). At least he is getting lots of milk into is growing body, to nourish this developmental leap.
And I do glory in his chunk!
Sleep Regression in Action: Day in the Life of my 9mo
As I said earlier, every day for my 9mo is different. His morning naps are at different times, and this changes the times of his afternoon naps.
Yesterday, he went down for a nap at 8am, only 2 hours after he awoke for the day (normally he has a 3-hour wake window)!
Whereas, today, he didn’t settle for his morning nap until 10 am.
That is a massive variance, and I find that I am constantly doing a feeding/settling dance with him, for the hours between 8 and 10 am, until he finally goes to sleep.
But hey, it’s all bonding!
6am
Sir 9mo wakes for the day. Since we got back from our holiday, hubby and I have started doing our workouts together. 9mo is our captive audience, and he looks at us with great intrigue as we huff and puff!
8am – 10am
The feeding/settling dance ensues! Usually my 9mo will start showing signs of tiredness around 8am. Namely: irritability, eye-rubbing, and crankiness. I will try to nurse him to sleep. It can take up to 3 times before he falls asleep!
Tangent: I am actually looking forward to the day he drops this morning nap. Once he has gone down to one daily nap at noon, the days will be so much simpler!
Because his wake times will be longer, I can be sure we will fall asleep at his designated nap time, and avoid the whole feed-to-sleep fiasco!
But I digress.
This morning nap has been lasting for 45 minutes to 1 hour, lately. Usually just in time for lunch (Mealtimes are Mr 9mo’s favourite times of the day).
1pm
Because he wakes at around 11, he is usually ready to go down for a nap in the afternoon at 13pm. This afternoon nap is always a bit longer.
I have been finding that he wakes after 45 minutes or so (one sleep cycle, apparently). If I feed him (instead of getting him up) he will usually fall back asleep, sometimes for another whole sleep cycle (45 minutes)!
2-3pm
Mr 9mo wakes! He usually stays awake from now until we put him down for bed (at the same time as older brother, 6.30 or 7pm).
This is a fairly long stretch and often the little guy just can’t keep his eyes open! He is thoroughly ready to sleep again after dinner, and sometimes doesn’t even make it through the bed time routine.
6.30pm-7pm
Bedtime. I usually nurse him to sleep, which can take about 20 minutes or so. Lately, Mr 9mo has been sleeping for only an hour or so and will wake crying (sleep regression in action). If I nurse him, he will fall back asleep, but as soon as I disentangle myself, his eyes fly open and the little guy wakes!
If this happens (let’s face it, these days, it’s a rare occurrence if it doesn’t happen), Mr 9mo will usually stay awake until his parents go to bed, which is about 9pm.
Let’s talk about night time and that good ol’ 9-month Sleep regression.
If your little one is sleeping through the night, then I am very happy for you (seriously, that’s awesome. No clenched teeth here, I swear).
However, if your little one is waking constantly, irritable, and you are struggling to get him down for a long strength, then you are not alone.
The 9-month-old sleep regression IS a thing, y’all.
And it’s just a stage! Just like everything else. So, hang in there.
My little one has been waking quite frequently during the night to feed. He will wake, quite exasperated, feed for what feels like a couple of seconds, then drop off to sleep again. But it feels like he does this a hundred times!
This definitely is not ordinary behaviour and I am rather relieved to know that it is normal to have a sleep regression at 9 months.
How to maintain your sanity during the sleep regression
If this is your baby, mama, hang in there! The regression has begun, but it will end.
Don’t stress about “sleep training” or getting him back on track.
For now, feed him when he cries, for he probably needs that extra milk to get him through this developmental leap!
Make sure his nappy is dry and that he isn’t too hot or cold (he could just be irritated).
Take deep breaths. Hold him close. Babies love to be close to you – after all, they spent their first 9 months inside you – it’s their comfort zone! Try to enjoy these cuddles, as they too will pass (unfortunately).
Just ride the wave, and take rest when you need it. When baby isn’t sleeping, you aren’t either. Be kind to yourself, and take the next day more slowly. Shorten your to-do list. Cuddle with your baby on the couch.
Think of the thing that de-stresses you, and do that. Take a bath. Read a book. Go for a walk. Sometimes a piping-hot facecloth REALLY energises me. It seems to un-furl all the tense muscles in my face and makes me feel all new! If you haven’t yet, try it and let me know if it works!
How long should a 9-month-old’s wake window be?
Now that my 9mo is down to 2 naps per day, his wake windows are much longer.
The times he is awake are no shorter than 3 hours, and stretch to 4 hours between his final nap of the day and when we put him to bed at night.
If the thought of these long wake times fills you with anxiety, do not stress! It does seem like a long period of time to be entertaining and keeping your baby out of mischief.
However, this time flies. I have found that having 2 is a lot easier than having 1 to entertain. Why? Because they entertain each other.
Shut. The. Front. Door.
This is an amazing arrangement! My eldest has a little baby to tickle, make laugh, toss a ball to, and show stuff to. And my baby has constant attention! It is so cute and adorable. I do have to intervene constantly, but on the whole, the 3-4 hours pass very pleasantly, and surprisingly quickly.
I find that if I have to get stuff done, then all the better. Sometimes the boys get bored of their toys, so following me around gives them something new to interact with and do.
Final word: Relax.
Mama, if you have somehow stumbled across this article because you are stressed about whether your nine-month-old is getting enough sleep, then I want to reassure you: everything is ok.
The encouraging thing about baby sleep (or lack thereof) is that there is a WIDE range of normal. Between regressions, developmental leaps, teething, and baby’s particular temperament, baby sleep is constantly changing.
There is only so much sleep training you can do.
I would encourage you to not waste your precious energy stressing about whether or not your baby is getting enough sleep. Just nurse them, rock them, mother them, and love them through whatever they are going through.
And try to get some rest, yourself!
Steph x
