What to do when the unthinkable happens and your toddler drops his nap!
Nap Time is such a precious hour of the day. An hour or two of solace, of rest, relaxation, sometimes even productivity. It is an oasis in the middle of a sometimes chaotic day.
In this household, nap time has been sacred ritual for almost 3 years.
But for months now, my 2 (now 3yo) has been toying with his midday nap. Sometimes he would sleep for hours; but other days, not at all.
I was in a bit of denial, but when it became impossible to keep up his nap (on our Summer Holiday), and I saw he was actually sleeping WAY better at night without it, I finally had to wave my white flag and surrender to the call of nature.
No Midday Nap is a BIG thing.
The midday nap helped me to structure my day, so that each element was carefully segmented: Household chores before lunch. Then I would cook dinner and have a breather during nap time. When Mr (now 3yo) woke, I would play with him in the afternoon.
With no nap, that meant no down time, and I dreaded the thought of not having any moment to recuperate and re-energise for an afternoon romp, and then the bedtime “crunch time” routine.
The day is busy on both sides of nap time, so it played a vital role in having the strength to get everything done!
You can understand the reluctance to relinquish it!
Now that the Midday Nap is gone, how are things?
GREAT!
It’s not so bad! Really and truly. Which I am thankful for, because there was a certain amount of guilt attached to needing nap-time. Like, I needed a break from my son.
So I am really glad that having my son up the whole day no longer fills me with dread and the beginnings of exhaustion.
The months where he was toying with his nap definitely helped. They “phased me in”, so I got used to the idea of no longer having that uninterrupted time.
It’s all about establishing a new normal, right? Only the idea of something different is overwhelming. Once it becomes normal, then it is no longer scary.
Now, one month in, the-no-midday-nap has become the new normal. And I’m actually loving this new normal.
Reasons to look forward to the Midday Nap Drop:
Your day becomes a lot simpler.
No need to feed him his lunch earlier, and hurry him along to get him to bed on time. No need to go through a mini bedtime routine. Once he is up, he is up for the day.
You become a lot more flexible
No midday nap gives you so much freedom! Suddenly, you are no longer bound to be at the house in the middle of the day. You can leave the house for the entire day if you feel like it!
It actually makes being social, so much easier! No need to leave early or wait for him to wake up.
In saying that, it does mean you no longer have an excuse to get away.
You use less nappies.
If he doesn’t go to bed, then he doesn’t need his midday “insurance” nappy. This has HALVED the number he goes through, which is a massive cost savings. On that note, it has also catapulted his potty-training success. He is getting to be so independent!
He goes to bed in the evening with a lot less fuss.
By the time evening comes around, the little guy is so tired, he no longer comes out of his room a thousand times.
He falls asleep almost straight away and sleeps the whole way through the night.
This, my friends, is a beautiful thing. No more stress around bedtime. No drawn-out negotiations.
And it this means hubby and I finally have our evenings back! (Once Mr 9mo is through his 9month regression, that is).
Things that have made the midday nap drop easier:
He still naturally has down time
I have noticed that Mr 3yo’s energy levels ebb and flow, and he definitely hits a slump when the afternoon hits.
There are times when he requires attention and to run and jump and kick a ball around.
There are times when he is happy to sit on the couch and page through a book.
And there are times when he curls up and snuggles with me or his teddy.
So it isn’t has though everything is ‘all go’ now that he has dropped his nap. There are times of peace and tranquility, even with him being awake.
And you know what? I am LOVING going through these rhythms with him. He’s my little mate, and I love having his company around, all the time. In the highs and in the lows.
Side note: this is a really good article about establishing quiet time when your toddler drops his nap.
He doesn’t need my full attention, all the time
Mr 3yo is used to entertaining himself.
From the get go, I have always done things while he was awake. Chores, workouts, cooking. I knew the day would come when I would no longer have the window of a nap to get things done, so I made sure I was able to do everything during the little guy’s wake times.
Yes, it does take a bit longer, between him wanting snacks and me to play with him, but he is used to busy mornings. He is more than happy to absorb himself with his toys.
Side note: I’ve found that by doing things in front of him, he can observe how to do all the chores and that the chores need to be kept on top of. He knows that it takes work to keep the house nice, and he wants to be part of that process and help out, because he sees me doing it.
Kids always want to do what you’re doing, after all!
So now that he has no nap, I find that I can still do things. I don’t NEED that window to be productive.
My toddler is used to me resting when he is awake
If I want a bit of rest, I will just tell him “Mama needs to sit on the couch for a bit OK? I’m just a bit tired”. It’s ok for them to know that Mama gets tired. Plus I’m modelling to him that it is OK for him to rest, and that to sit quietly isn’t a punishment, it’s a relief.
Sometimes he even comes and cuddles with me for a bit.
He has 99.99% of his life screen-free
I’m not saying this because I think everyone should do the same. I am a recovering TV addict so I know how hard it is to say no.
I do think that the fact my son has had almost no screen time (he does watch TV at other peoples houses, but this rarely happens) means that he has a strong ability to focus and has a long attention span.
This means he does not get as bored with his toys and books and can play with them happily for hours.
I’m not even exaggerating.
It is also amazing to see his imagination and creativity being forced out. Cushions are turned into cars and blocks into diggers.
Every day our decision to have a screen free home is reinforced, and I’m not even tempted a little bit to get a TV.
Disclaimer: Hubby and I sometimes watch something on the laptop once the boys are in bed. But this has been getting less and less. We are conscious of modelling screen-free activities, so if we preach it, we need to practice it!
How to have an orderly day without the Midday Nap
You can still segment your day into the morning, afternoon and evening.
- One meal per segment, and one theme per segment.
- The morning meal is breakfast. The theme of the morning is chores. I use this time to straighten the house. Mr 3yo sometimes follows me or sometimes plays. He loves gardening with me, in particular!
- The afternoon meal is lunch, followed by project time and play time. I spend this time intermittently writing and playing with my boys. I never get a full hour to get writing done, but that is ok! It is important to connect with my boys, so I try not to cling to my writing too much.Nj h m ,l
- The evening meal is dinner, and the theme of the evening is winding down and getting ready for bed.
So you see the days still follow some kind of structure, and there is no need for a nap to add some kind of divider.
I hope this encourages you so that you can look forward to the inevitable time when there is no midday nap. Maybe you have years yet!
