Discover the ultimate bedtime routine secrets for your children’s peaceful slumber! In this guide, we unveil the power of structured bedtime rituals, ensuring a smooth transition from playtime to dreamland. Learn why bedtime routines are crucial for fostering predictability and cooperation in children. Say goodbye to bedtime battles and hello to harmonious evenings filled with bonding activities, family dinners, and calming rituals. Dive into this article and unlock the key to bedtime bliss for your family!
In our household, the bedtime routine is known as “Crunch Time” and happens between the hours of 5 and 7pm, by which time, Mr 3yo is usually in bed.
Now that his nap time has dropped, he is WELL ready for bed by this time, which is a wonderful thing. This means that when we put him into bed, he stays there and falls asleep pretty much straight away.
Which is blissful.
What is a Bedtime Routine?
A bedtime routine for children is a series of calming actions that prepare them for sleep. It encompasses activities like feeding, expending excess energy, and ensuring comfort and cleanliness.
Why even have a Bedtime Routine?
First things first, having any routine (let alone a bedtime routine) is wonderful for children. When they know what to expect, they flourish and take excitement in doing that thing. They enjoy knowing what is coming next, and they enjoy becoming a master at something.
Having a routine at bedtime – i.e, doing the same thing every night before they go to bed – allows them to enjoy the process of getting bed-ready.
Because children enjoy the rhythm and predictability of a routine, a bedtime routine sets them up to revel in the process of getting ready for bed. They have done it every night, so they are masters at it…and therefore they enthusiastically take part in it.
A bedtime routine also tells children (without explicitly telling them) that it is time for bed. “It’s bedtime” can be a polarising phrase, and disappointment and cries of “I want to play!” ensue.
By beginning the bedtime routine, you connivingly edge them into a sleepy and cosy state, and send the signal that it is time to be quiet and restful. There is no need to even mention “bedtime”, because the activities you are doing make it obvious.
And by doing the same thing every night, it becomes something that you all just “do”, and your children will accept that and not push back.
What NOT to include in a bedtime routine
Screen Time
This one is obvious, and should almost go without saying. Watching a TV show may seem like it is keeping your child quiet, but in reality, it is stimulating their brain and keeping them in a wakeful state.
If you can, I would avoid all screen time, full stop, at least before your child is five years old. However, if your child is prone to watch a little bit of telly, just try to stop it at least an hour before bedtime.
A rowdy game
At least in the final part of the bedtime routine. By all means, in the first part of the hours before bedtime, have a run around with your child to get rid of excess energy. But, as it gets closer to putting them down, the rowdier you play, the rowdier they get.
And it takes a while for them to settle.
Instead, focus on calming activities, such as reading a book. They could also pack away any toys that are lying around (this is a GREAT thing to include as part of a bedtime routine – teaching them to “re-set” the house, as it were). Make sure any noise-making toys are already stowed away, as these can be stimulating!
A Hot Drink
Perhaps this is controversial, because a steaming mug of tea or cocoa is such a comforting thing to have before bed.
But, kids take a LOOONG time to have a hot drink (even if they aren’t purposefully stalling), so if you want them to get into bed before midnight, skip this.
Children are masters at stalling before bed, so the less they have to work with, the better. Giving them a hot drink is like giving them a golden ticket to a long ride of wake time. They will sip it slowly and you will get more and more impatient.
A Bath
Another controversial one. I am probably the only one of the entire parent population that does not give her children a bath before bedtime.
But, I have my reasons.
A bath can take a long time. And, if I am going to the cost, effort and time of filling a bath, I want to make full use of that water and make sure the kids are in there for a long time.
I normally shower my boys, which gets the cleaning done using a fraction of the water and the time. I do this earlier in the day, not as part of the bedtime routine, because I want as few things as part of the routine as possible.
Including a bath as part of a nightly routine just isn’t feasible. Again, it creates an opportunity for the boys to stall. It encourages them to play and splash, which is not ideal before bedtime. And it requires me to be super organised, which just isn’t the reality most evenings.
I usually save baths for a treat when the boys can linger and play with their bath toys.
Things to include as part of the bedtime routine
As few things as possible
As I said earlier, kids are masters at stalling, so if there are a lot of activities, you are providing them with plenty of opportunities to stall getting into bed.
Also, the more activities you have, the more stressful the bedtime routine becomes, and so you are less likely to stick to it every night.
The key is to be consistent, which you can do quite easily with three or four things.
A bonding activity
This is crucial. The hours before bedtime are a special time in that Dad is home from work and Mum isn’t doing any chores. So, we have the opportunity, every night, to do something as a family.
I think this is the most important part of the bedtime routine. If your child has your undivided attention, they connect with you and this allows them to grow and flourish. This connection also means they are more likely to go along with what you want them to do, later.
Dinner (also as a family)
Now that Mr 3yo is able to eat everything, we eat together as a family. The mealtime training is more effective if we are eating with him, as we are modelling what proper eating looks like.
It is also a chance to talk together and connect further.
Mr 9mo is also awake for this, clamouring for his share of the food.
Dinnertime takes up most of the bedtime routine. From there, it takes about another 15 minutes to get him into bed.
Ablutions
This involves brushing teeth, going to the toilet, and washing hands. We also put on his nappy and get him into his nightwear.
This is hubby’s role, to oversee the ablutions. Normally he sings (the same) two songs for the teeth brushing, which Mr 3yo now knows off by heart. This is so the teeth-brushing is a sufficient length of time!
Devotion time
We make sure Mr 3 yo’s bedroom is curtained and dim, to increase melatonin production and encourage sleepiness.
In there, we sing “Amazing Grace”. Singing is powerful – first, at imprinting wonderful messages into our boys’ memories (he knows the words off by heart!) and second, at stimulating the vegus nerve.
Plus, singing has a calming effect, which is awesome for bedtime.
Then, we each take turns at praying for our boys. After that, hubby reads a chapter from the Children’s bible.
All this is done in a matter of minutes!
Then Mr 3yo is tucked into his bed and Mr 9mo is nursed to sleep (if he is not going through a sleep regression).
Doing the bedtime routine as a family
For all parts of the routine, all family members are involved, even if Mr 9mo won’t go to bed at the end of it.
All are bonding, all are eating, all are ablution-ing, and all are devotion-ing.
Why? It is just WAY simpler to do the bedtime routine once. Mr 3yo would get indignant if Mr 9mo wasn’t joining, and it would make him less keen to go through the activities (he has major FOMO. Both have, actually).
This gives the boys a sense of solidarity.
Plus, it is our ultimate aim to have them both in bed at the same time, every night, and this is a segway to doing that. Once Mr 9mo goes down to one nap a day, this is more likely to be a reality!
How to Time your Bedtime Routine For 7pm Lights-Out
4pm:
Prepare dinner so that it is ready to be eaten at 5pm, when Hubby is home from work.
5 – 5.30pm:
Start eating dinner. Starting early allows all food to be eaten before 7. If dinner is not ready at 5, hubby will play with the boys until it is ready.
6pm:
If dinner is finished by now, we will try to enjoy the cool summer evening by going for a short walk. Sometimes we do this before dinner. This is often our bonding family activity. During the winter months, we will play something inside, such as soccer or rugby or hallway cricket.
Not going to lie, hubby normally does this while I am cooking dinner.
6.30pm:
Ablutions. No matter the order of the Dinner and play time, we always try to be done so we can do ablutions at 6.30pm, latest.
6.45pm:
Devotion, song, story, and prayer time.
7pm:
Bedtime!
